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Is it true about you?? You get to say what is true, or else you are at the mercy of THEIR opinion of you. Use the questions daily to campaign for a new you in your own eyes as well as the eyes of your beholders!

Is it true about you?? You get to say what is true, or else you are at the mercy of THEIR opinion of you. Use the questions daily to campaign for a new you in your own eyes as well as the eyes of your beholders!

     After all day in middle school, stressing over exams, too much homework, experiencing the worst headache and cramps from her new confusing “womanhood” all day, the highlight of the day was when one of her classmates bullied her by saying to her gang of girlfriends, “……She’s such a be*tch.”

     Dad walked in the door and said, “You look upset, honeybun, how was your day?”

     She began to tear up, and said, “The usual stuff, but on top of that, a bit of bullying. One of the so-called popular girls called me a be*tch, and I don’t know what to do.”

      Dad with no expression asked,  “Is it true what she said about you?”  No sooner he asked, he couldn’t hold back his sparkling smile.

     They both started laughing and fell into each others arms.   “I get it, Daddy.  I get to say who I am! Their opinions are only opinions!”

Parents have no easy job.  What may have looked like “thinking on his feet” may  just be the wisdom of a man whose life  lead him to understand  that real answers may come in the form of a question!

The secret to “who am I?”  has been told to us over and over by the great writers, speakers, icons, philosophers and such.   You are who you are!

The real question is:  Who is making the “who you are” true?

What you believe is true about yourself tends to gather more evidence of that truth.  In other words, if you believe you are the way “they think you are,” long enough, it becomes imprinted as the truth in your belief system.  Soon, it goes from “they say I am,” to “I am that way, and it’s true.”    Soon enough, you consistently gather evidence for that belief.

So, without using the be*tch word anymore, let’s look at another version of this kind of mistaken opinion.

The magazines are covered with images of ultra-skinny girls, women and even boys and men.  It is so common to think, “I wish I could be on the cover of the magazine, but I’m too fat.”   (There are many versions of these kinds of thoughts).  Pick your common thought, and let’s work with it.

Question #1.   Is it true?

Question #2.   Who says?  (they or I)

Question #3.   Is it bad or wrong to be this way or not?

Question #4.  Is it really my opinion, or is it someone else’s opinion?

Question #5.   Am I willing to have it be my opinion?

When the magazine says skinny is right, what it is really saying is that “fat is wrong, and you are wrong if you are fat!”  On a deeper level, the evidence you are gathering and being used by is their opinion.  This is a source of much suffering, fad dieting, extreme exercising, and such or complete resignation that you can make any difference in your weight loss, all of which is more evidence for that you are “fat, and wrong.” The extreme of being fat and being righteous about it is simply another version of their opinion being resisted, but that’s another story worth addressing in another article!

When you get to the point that you can approach the opinions as opinions, you find there can be a sense of relief, and the next natural thing is to take action one way or another.  To either accept yourself ” as who you are defined by me, or who you are as defined by them.”   Either one is valid.  Either one will be right.   You get to say.

Today, while reading this, it seems easy.  Tomorrow, though, when the opinions of those mean girls at school kick in, or you see the newest covergirl on the magazine, or guys, you notice your hair is thinning, you will be back at that feeling, and will want to ask those questions again.  Here they are again!

Question #1.   Is it true?

Question #2.   Who says?  (they or I)

Question #3.   Is it bad or wrong to be this way or not?

Question #4.   Is it really my opinion, or is it someone else’s opinion?

Question #5.   Am I willing to have it be my opinion?

Having freedom and being happy is what this is about.  You get to be free when you can tell the truth about things, and when you do, you can see things from a new perspective.  Print these questions out, and put them at your mirror.  While getting ready for the day, you can run what you fear the most might happen that day through this questionnaire.  Get ready for a most miraculous day.   Better yet, when the day is done and you are getting ready for bed, take the most upsetting moments of the day, and put them to the test with these powerful questions.  I bet you’ll sleep a lot better!

 

     Almost having forgotten what a challenging day she had experienced, she turned to her dad before heading to her bedroom and said,  “Oh, Daddy.  I like what you taught me today about who says who I am, and I’ve come to another conclusion.   I’m going shopping from now on and it won’t cost you a thing…..I’m going to be  shopping for new opinions and the ones that upset me, I’m not buying.   The opinions that DO work for me, though,  are MINE!   Goodnight, Daddy!”

For more beauty tips, tricks and secrets, that make the fine difference, and especially if interested in growing hair faster read more at the Ask Alan Blog at Belegenza Extraordinary Hair Care, the originator of the world’s finest silicone free natural hair care products.

 Alan G Eschenburg 

Ask Alan Blog  for www.Belegenza.com Extraordinary Hair Care